Sweet ruminant (remind me) These days half-spent (rewinding) In over my head (entwining) Take me away to a place worth saving Sugar sweet and sad (taste my skin) Money I never had (you can’t win) Demons trapped in my head (insect pin) Expectant and willing to give in again Hey brother, what’s your hurry? Stuck in a whirl of worry This hunt is full of fury And I may never No I may never see you again In a whirl of worry

You’ve been circling ‘round my thoughts again Like a halo dog-earred and half-bent Mortal coil, salt the soil, shuffle to a beat Floating above us, tell me, what do you see? But now you rest beneath, below the pain and grief A boy I barely knew but you keep haunting my dreams And if I could control the fourth dimensional I’d pick the universe where we’d converse soul to soul Your ghost came close to loving me Your ghost haunts all the in-betweens Your ghost he kissed me in the dark Your ghost cracked my frozen heart You’ve been circling ‘round my thoughts again Like an angel never to ascend You built an Ark of flesh and blood Now drift away as we watch our world flood But underneath the fear and the shallows of our years There’s a man we keep as you sleep, we hold him close and dear Your love ripples and waves and more than urns or graves We hold you within, soft as skin, these memories you gave Your ghost came close to loving me Your ghost haunts all the in-betweens Your ghost kissed me in the dark Your ghost cracked our frozen hearts [spoken]

As I watch you turn the light off Sleep in silence, I know it well Waiting for a chance to move past Memories like a prison cell So now I stand here playing victim Depression’s grip cold, soft and spare What is heaven if god dies slowly? What is hell if no one cares? Maybe I could stay here when you come down from a black cloud Maybe you could stay here when I come down from a black cloud You, ascending to a place that I’d never go to willingly Always floating on a different stream I wait patient, this slow descending Clipping wings as a pass time Hospital gowns like paper sails Evanescent shell I’ve contrived Shining through this husk a message Palm from pocket, a future light “Stay here baby, I can hold you Love you dearly, don’t fear the night” And maybe I could stay here when you come down from a black cloud Maybe you could stay here when I come down from a black cloud You, ascending to a place that I’d never go to willingly Always floating on a different dream

Trapped on a bridge dissolving in the rain Victim of the division between the sick and sane Politicians profiting off other people’s pain an endless cycle inside a system deranged Swallow the medicine, your burden bought and sold Disgusted by their desire for complete control Demonize and ostracize, we all suffer While people die you cheat and lie, I hope you burn Why won’t you listen when I say I’m not okay? I just need a body pulsing near to keep the flood contained. And when the Ativan seeps in Your thoughts run slow (slow reeling) Smash the glass to feel something I think I’m not right in the head (in the end) The dark hound rears his head to split the mind in two: Visions of hate, decisions to make soon subsume Charnel ground, burial mound, my body lies entombed Eulogy for memory as my soul’s consumed So poison the people, sedate them into bliss, bind us, blind us, deafen us to Caduceus’ hiss So smear your bloody hand upon the Doctor’s door Stigmatized by a nation’s lies that’s left us sick and poor Why won’t you listen when I say I’m not okay? I just need a body pulsing near to keep the flood contained. The Seroquel gets me sleeping Thoughts flow slow (no feeling) Modern life keeps me reeling Tell me, Doc, am I normal now? Tell me, Doc, do you know how: to set my paper skin ablaze? burn the rough draft’s old ways, become the crest of a new wave? Take the twine and throw it away. Pour some wine and call it a day. Take the rope -- Medicated doesn’t mean sedated.

Lay down the pool pods, lay down the Legos, sleep. You know I worry for your sake. I’m sorry, Jeffery, I didn’t get a chance to write last year. I was caught in a fear. (Now trying to reappear) Sit on the dashboard. I love you dearly. Love on the dashboard. I love you dearly. (Matthew, why?) Lied, you, dearly. And Gabriel save me. What am I doing? Reptar.

Well I was walking down the street with an artificial heart but I didn’t have use so I sold it for spare parts … and that’s all it was. Knew your name from a billboard poster always wanted to get a little closer but knew that it just wouldn’t be. In memories I wait Make sense of things only to complicate Nothing here feels like home So be it, I’m content to roam: forever. Well there’s a pretty girl at my side, I don’t know why! Everybody knows that I’m the ugliest guy that you’ve seen: like a beauty queen. And all of these fake limbs surround me and the mannequins in the storefront are always grinnin’ like they’re happy. Well I don’t have much use for such things, everything is in my brain. I have got my medicine, now look at the state I am in. Don’t want to justify my life with a felt-tip pen, so mark me in as a pencil drawing: memory traces, never erases. In memories I wait Make sense of things just to hallucinate Friends flake and melt away. In memories I’m content to stay: whatever. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life All I had was a set of knives that I kept in my living room to display Everyone says that “It’s okay, okay?” And it’s alright to own a shotgun only if you hope you’ll never have to use one so I lean it on the side of the room with the baseball bat next to the mushrooms. Whatever. We’re all doing drugs nowadays. And it seems like life is a permanent haze of pot smoke and responsibilities. But you’re there through all my days..

Wake up at night Away from the fight Blinded my sight: there was a Lite Brite. Born in a dark time Instead of a night light Got a Brite Lite by my bed. How could I find you in the darkness without my Lite Brite? How could I find you in the darkness?

Losing of identity Acting out anxiety Tired of society’s idea of who I’m supposed to be I’m nothing I’m nothing at all Be nothing Be nothing at all President’s eliminated Patriarchs are castrated Policemen decapitated Universe disintegrated I’m nothing I’m nothing at all Be nothing Be nothing at all [spoken word] I’m nothing I’m nothing at all Be nothing Be nothing at all

Anxious in bed again, another night alone Made plans to go out with friends I don’t even know Complaining and feigning, they degrade and deify Think I’ll just put on a Smiths record and die Don’t say that about yourself You got so much love to share with the world All you need’s a little motivation And magical anime cheerleader spirit guides! You can do it! Fuck those haters! Be yourself and weird out some strangers! Slay the dragon! Ride the tiger! You’re a winner! You’re a fighter! Yeah, well, you say that, but I feel sick Even my therapist think I’m a dick And as for lovers they scatter like roaches Think I’ll just smoke some weed as sadness approaches Trust your heart and trust your instincts Let your inner Elk run free Grab your keys and grab your jacket Time to ride the endless glitter rainbow! You can do it! Ignore the voices! Know you’re loved and that you have choices Like “Do I ride a Starbus full of kitties or do I wallow in self-pity? Anata hai! アナタハイ！ Gan bate ne! ガン譲りね！ Kanashima naide 悲しまないで! Subarashii! すばらしい! Ikimashou! 行きましょう! Okina yume! 翁夢！ Yoru Taiju! 夜大樹！

Nous rendezvous a le cafe tu dit a moi "bon matin!" "tu parle francais," tu demand Je dit, "Oui... pur un american" Étrangers de la danse L'esprit de France L'esprit de la danse Danse avec moi Cette nuit, apres un embrasse Je dit a toi "au revoir, Mais si nous jamais reverrons, Je chanterai vois a ma guitare" Translation: We meet at a cafe you say to me "good morning!" "do you speak french," you ask I say "yes, for an american" Strangers of the dance The spirit of France The spirit of dance Dance with me That night after an embrace I say to you "until we meet again" but if we never meet again, I will sing of you on my guitar

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Go n-éirí an bóthar leat Go raibh an ghaoth go brách ag do chúl Go lonraí an ghrian go te ar d'aghaidh Go dtite an bháisteach go mín ar do pháirceanna Agus go mbuailimid le chéile arís, Go gcoinní Dia i mbos My father’s father’s father swam across the Atlantic ocean Their names were saved on Ellis Island, “Are you American?” “Aye, yes, believe me, believe me, believe me when I tell you” Believe me, believe me, believe me when I tell you Now I hike the hills my family fled and Now IRA plants talk the flowerbed Why don’t you stay here? Come close, my dear Nothing to fear Why don’t you stay here? The work was scarce, they were unprepared “No Irish or dogs need apply here” At church each day they’d kneel and pray I can hear them say “Dear God, believe me, believe, believe me when I tell you” Believe me, believe me when I tell you Now I drink the dregs of history and Now I raise a toast in memory Why don’t you stay here? Come close, my dear Nothing to fear Why don’t you stay here? And why’d you say it’d last forever? Why’d you say it’d last forever? I wanna know when you’re coming home When you’ll kiss your grandmother’s lips When you’ll set the table and tell us of your trips